Feminism and Release
by lock-n-key
Summary: A deeper glimpse into the relationship Cal and Gillian share following some of the events in season 3.  Very M- Cal's POV.


A/N: _Thank you Silvia for pointing out a correction with one of the lines. :)_

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><p>You give me a certain amount of freedom while standing there and watching from the side, and then when things start to get out of line you're always the one to reel me back in. To say I'm the one in control would be nothing less than an outright lie. A lie that might be good enough to fool those who brush you off as the woman who always cleans up my messes, but not you. Those words I threw back in your face about this company and these assets belonging to me were just another desperate attempt to try and push you away. Despite how painful the initial sting must have been, you were still able to see right through me. <em>Loyal to a fault<em>, as I once put it. Even though I know how wrong it was, there are too many moments where I let my pride override the truth. But all of this is beside the point, because we both know it's only a matter of time before I submit to your will and you put me back in my place.

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><p>I walk into your office, and find you sitting at your desk with your head down, analyzing something written on a legal sized memo pad. The lights are turned down low and as the pale glow from the desk lamp in front of you illuminates your features, I admire the grace you possess at performing even the most menial of tasks. Nothing you do betrays your awareness of my presence, but surely it hasn't escaped your notice. I observe that the photo frames you usually keep out on display are missing. There's no denying how meticulous you are when it comes down to small details.<p>

"Working late are we, Foster?" I call out to you in an attempt to break the ice.

"Lightman," you rejoin as you shift your line of vision in my direction. A knowing look crosses your features and I can tell you've been waiting for my visit- anticipating it. Your hand holding the memo pad falls to your side, giving me your undivided attention. "Did you need my help with anything?" you ask in a nonchalant tone as you open a drawer to stow it away.

You remain seated and still as I saunter over to your side. The more distance I close between us, the stronger the smell of your perfume lingering in the air becomes- almost like a spell you've cast. I drink up its sweetness while bringing one hand up to cup your face. My thumb brushes against your bottom lip, and your blue eyes are soft and inviting. As they shift to meet mine, a silent understanding passes between us that tonight will end no differently than any of the other previous times.

The nod you give barely registers and you rise from your chair. Your eyes dart to your left shoulder and back again, and I reach out a hand to clasp the zipper pull at the side of your dress there, slowly drawing it downwards with a gentle tug. With one slight push the straps fall off of your shoulders with ease and the garment slips from your body to pool on the floor at your feet. You proceed to step out of it along with your heels before reaching your hands behind you to push yourself up onto the desk, and I can feel myself hardening at your offer to indulge my desires.

When you turn your head to face me again your expression is neither demanding nor passive. I let my gaze fall on your long, slender legs and the thigh-high stockings that adorn them, and up the rest of your body. Four straps attached to a garter belt hold them up in perfect position, and the ample amount of cleavage exposed by your bra only serves to complete the set. Both are comprised of a silky wine red material with black lace trim, and I lick my lips in approval. A smile plays across your lips almost like dare for me to touch you; you take far too much pleasure in toying with me like this.

My erection strains against the confinement of my jeans with each moment of uncomfortable tension a reminder of the pull you have over me. I need you more than I've ever needed anybody else, and you knowingly take full advantage of it. Your neck cranes to the side as you open yourself to me, and I take you up on your invitation without hesitation. Lowering my head, I plant a trail of kisses down your neck. My mouth finds that hollow between the base and your collarbone, and I eagerly suckle and nip at the flesh there. When you moan out in response I want so badly to mar your perfect skin so I can pretend to claim you as my own, but I know I'm not worthy of it, and I don't.

"Long day today?" your voice comes out lofty. Your pupils are fully dilated as your eyelids flutter open and shut, and the knowledge that you're just as aroused as I am turns me on even more.

"You have no idea, love." I settle by roughly grabbing a handful of your hair and pushing your lips towards mine. You don't put up any resistance and I let my tongue delve inside, exploring the familiar taste of your mouth. "It's okay to let go," you breathe back as our lips break contact. "Let me help you."

Your hands reach out to undo the button of my jeans, and following their removal you strip me of everything else until all of my outside armor is gone and my weaknesses and vices are laid out in front of you on display.

As I move in for another kiss your perfectly manicured fingers travel downward, curling around the base of my length. With articulate skill you begin to stroke me, and I let out a grunt as my hips involuntarily buck at how incredible your touch feels. The heat inside of me steadily builds, and I push you back onto the desk so I can take in the rest of you before our little rendezvous ends too soon.

Both hands disappear behind your back to undo the clasp of your bra, the same smile from earlier returning to your face. With one fluid motion it topples over the side of the desk, and I reach out to feel you beneath me. I'm past the point of dwelling on any thoughts as to what exactly it is we're doing here again like this; the only thing running through my mind is how I'm about to show you just how much you're worth. I bring my mouth down over your body, and begin to praise every single detail with my tongue. At some point your arms wrap around my neck, and I can gauge which places are the most sensitive by the amount of pressure you apply in response to my ministrations. I let all of my frustration, anger, and love course through my veins and into you.

Without removing my mouth, my fingers dip under the waistband of your garter belt and I slide off the last shred of material separating our bodies. The whole time your eyes have never left mine, but as I insert a digit within your folds, you throw your head back at the contact and it elicits a sound from you that can only be described as something between a whimper and a moan. I can feel your wetness surround me, and I'm amazed at how you're able take all that emotion I feed you and turn it into something so exceptionally beautiful. It goes without saying what a truly selfish bastard I am, but I'm beyond being able to stop myself. I won't be satisfied until I'm completely bathed in your light, and so I thrust into you and together we establish a rhythm that slowly begins to increase its speed.

The way your hips tighten around me for more access almost makes me come right then. I reach out with both hands to fondle your breasts, kneading the soft mounds of flesh. I let one of my thumbs graze over a nipple and it induces a sharp intake of breath from you. When I look down at the sight of your body wrapped in the throes of pleasure, I immediately regret all the women that I've ever let come before you. Keeping one hand on your breast, I lower the other and begin stroking your clit to apologize in the only way I know how. You react to the mixed sensation by raising your hips and digging your nails into my flesh. The way your breath hitches, combined with the sound of your voice calling out my name before you climax is more than I can bear. Only a few seconds pass before I can't hold on any longer and you send me flying over the edge with you. "Gillian," I groan out with one final push, spilling myself inside of you. My body bends to meet yours and my head comes to rest on your chest. You lift your hand and run it along the nape of my neck.

As you stroke the back of my head, the tenderness expressed in your touch renders any verbal exchange of love unnecessary. Where I am doesn't matter as long you're here with me, and nothing feels more real than the sound of your heartbeat and the feeling of being at home in your embrace. It leaves me humbled, wondering if this is the only place in the world where all my mistakes and faults can somehow be forgiven, and wondering how long you'll let me belong to you like this.


End file.
